A Former Foster Care Child Tells His Story

Washington, D.C. writer Mickey C. Fleming, a 33-year-old black gay man, was sitting in a friend's home one evening. Over a glass of Riunite wine, Fleming revealed his experiences as a foster care child. His friend, overwhelmed by what he had heard, suddenly exclaimed: "You have a great story to tell. You should write a book!" At first Fleming, lacking self-confidence, rebuffed the idea by saying: "I'm not a celebrity and I'm not good at that kind of thing." But after awhile he decided to take his friend's advice; he immediately began the arduous task of putting pen to paper. The result is his recently published autobiography, About Courage, a paperback original from the Los Angeles-based Holloway House. (It was one of five books nominated for a Lambda Literary Award in the Gay Men's Debut category.)

Fleming sees the book as his way of "exorcising personal demons." Those demons include sexual victimization by older boys at two foster care institutions and a deep-seated self-hatred stemming from a belief instilled in him by others that he was "a bad person, an evil person." Before writing the book, a friend told him that "it would be a good way to release all that anger and hostility. When I wrote the book I came to really see why I was angry and who I really am. In the process of writing," he continues, "I was able to get back at certain people." More importantly, Fleming says, "I wanted to educate people about what goes on in the child welfare system. Of course, I
didn't touch on half of the things that went on at Junior Village." (In 1973, a series of articles in the Washington Post brought about the closing of JV, writes Fleming, "because of an alleged history of abuse of the very children it was designed to help.")

Another goal of his is to reach out to those with a similar background of abuse. Among that group are gay youth; he hopes to inspire them "to believe in themselves."

Although he has been told that "a lot of changes have been made since I was a client of the system," some things remain the same. "I have talked to foster mothers, especially when I'm on a radio program. They  call in with horror stories. A lot of it sounds very much the same as when I was there. One of the complaints is that the system doesn't put much money into taking care of the children. Another one is that often the children are taken out of one home and put into another many foster parents feel this is detrimental to the children's well-being. The children can't get fully grounded."

The one thing About Courage has done, other than dispel some of Mickey Fleming's anger, is to incite anger and stir up a little controversy. especially among family members who probably didn't like such revelations like the one about the time when two weeks after his so-called "illegitimate" birth in his grandfather's house in North Carolina, "Granddad removed the welcome mat" from under his daughter and her three children. "They are all upset because I'm telling the truth," declares Fleming, in a telephone interview. "But, of course, they want to live in a state of denial."

And some in the gay community are not happy either. "My story is not typical of most gay people. I came from an institutional background. As most people know, it is in such institutions as Junior Village where a lot of forced homosexual sex goes on. Someone else needs to write a book about homosexuality from just living a normal life, having a mother and a father. I can't write that kind of book; it wasn't my experience. I try to tell these people--'Don't get angry with me because I'm telling my story.' They say to me: 'People will read this book and think homosexuals are made that way.' I'm not even saying that's how I became a homosexual. All I'm saying is these are the things that happened to me. People who read the book carefully will see I had an attraction for men even before I was raped. I even enjoyed the fact that they were paying attention to me, hugging me and all that kind of stuff. When the penetration happened is when I didn't enjoy that."

Others, like Ma Banks, one of his former foster parents, "loved the book. She's been promoting it for me. She's got every person in her church to buy the book. She understands. She knows my story."

Meanwhile, Mickey Fleming is at work on his next book, a novel, that "will focus more on other characters that I didn't bring out too much in About Courage."

This article was originally published in Outlines (Chicago) in February 1990.