Real People

The following essay is by Leonard Green, a gay syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and political strategist. He is the publisher and editor of The Right Angle, a conservative newsletter.


When an effeminate man or a masculine woman walks down the street heads turn. People assume they are gay. Some are not. Those who are gay face discrimination and ridicule not only in the straight world but also in the gay community. Historically effeminate gay men and masculine lesbians have taken the heat while many lesbians and gays have been in the closet. They have suffered physical and verbal abuse while on the front line fighting for our rights. But instead of seeing them as heroes and heroines, we attempt to disregard them.

Masculine gay men and effeminate lesbians are threatened by them. Those lesbians and gays whose sexuality is not obvious feel they project the wrong image. They argue that these non-traditional behaviors misrepresent the gay community and makes it difficult for gays and lesbians to be accepted.

Like many heterosexuals, "straight-acting" homosexuals assume effeminate men are attempting to be women and masculine lesbians are attempting to be men. Michael Sainte-Andress, a seasoned activist, says they "are living a fantasy." Sainte-Andress, who is effeminate, says, "Anytime you are outside the reality of what you are, it's a fantasy. I have lived a fantasy for a large portion of my life by choice and understand the ramifications. People can live fantasies but [must] prepare to accept the consequences."

Contrary to this attitude, many are merely being themselves. Some are pretending but so are some "macho gay men" and "lipstick lesbians." Curtis, a 31-year-old personnel analyst who does not want his last name identified, says "I'm sure in every gay man's lifestyle, beyond closed doors or with a bunch of friends, they may do and say feminine things. But it's kind of like I'm performing. When I'm out in public, this is where it stops." Many gays and lesbians refuse to associate with them in public. To do so would painfully remind them that they are connected by the same common thread."I don't have anything against them," says Curtis, " but that is a group I keep a distance from. In a large gathering I will associate with them and maybe in conversation. But I will not get involved with them because of society's roles."

When choosing a mate, many "straight-acting" gays and lesbians overlook effeminate men or masculine women because they do not consider them "real" men and women. They also fear that involvement with them will cause people to assume or wonder whether they too are gay. Fortunately, some gays and lesbians understand the danger of condemning others. Cherisse Gardner, 34, says, "I have a couple of cousins who are effeminate men. I know better than to criticize them. They are different." She adds, "If you catch me out in a dress and heels, I feel I'm in drag even though I'm a woman."

Activists talk about hate crimes, domestic partnership, the repeal of sodomy laws, and homophobia, but they seldom discuss discrimination against effeminate men and masculine women, many of whom are excluded from social circles. Many are denied employment and other opportunities, even by gays and lesbians who feel they do not fit the proper corporate image. "Black gay men should not discriminate against feminine people," says Sainte-Andress. He suggests that those who do should be given "a mind injection that would propel them to think differently."

We must recognize the tremendous value of our community. We should not be limited by stereotypical attitudes about male and female behavior. We must not condemn each other in our quest for acceptance.